just about right ..
Walking to work I was smoking like every day, people measure the distance with meters, foot, miles etc. I measure the distance with smoked cigarettes, my average is 4 cigarettes to my office.
anyway today when i was done with my third, I put it in my pocket. It took me a while to realize what I have done, this “while” was enough to create a hole in my Monday pair of jeans and to burn me in a “strategic” place. I am sure people who were passing by were wondering about the smoke coming out of me but ,I guess, they were too polite to ask.
now, I am at work and I sit down and stand up as if I am hiding an erection. he absent mind of mine it will kill me one day, I know that much. but for now I need to look for a new Monday pair of Jeans.
من وحي سارتر
Dear Ms A,
I write these lines with much hesitation, I can not deny the fear to lose my memories to a piece of paper. I think once you word your feelings, your thoughts and the way you experienced your days you some how lose them like you would lose your cut hair and your clipped nails, they are still yours but they are no longer you.
In Science, more precisely in quantum physics, you can not know both the position and the speed of a quantum particle at the same time, they call it the observer phenomena. Once you know the speed and the position of the particle it starts to behave very differently. Same thing with us people, once words come in and once these words are registered some how we lose more than we gain, we lose the truth about ourselves, we become the observed electron.
on the other hands visiting those early days of my life as time traveller, a tourist, who is not after the truth but after an adventure in an exotic place is something I must do.
I guess all I want to say in this very long introduction is this, do not take the following lines as documentation of my childhood but more like lies inspired by my childhood or what I remember from it. A clipped nail
Julia: you know I imagine myself doing things !!
Julia: in the morning, in front of the mirror,while i am putting my makeup , I imagine myself screaming at it that I am sane
“I AM SANE , I AM SANE, I AM SANE, I AM SANE , I AM SANE, I AM SANE ”
Me: Does the mirror say any thing back ?
Julia: I do not talk to mirrors, I just imagine.
Me: shame .. try to put the make on the mirror instead of your face, she might say something then.
Julia: you are an Idiot, you know !
Me: right ..