في الحانة

في يوم بارد كنت أمشي إلي العدم و كل ما معي قنينتي و سجائري ، فمررت بحانة صغيرة علي ناصية شارع ما دخلت بلا سبب جلست علي طاولة في ركن ما صامتا، أخرجت علبة السجائر و قنينتي بهدوء لكي لا يزعجني النادل، أمسكت بجريدة ملقاة أحاول أن أركز في شئ بدل اللاشئ، بدت لي محاولاتي عبثية رفعت عيني عنها إلي الحضور وجدتهم يتحدثون و يشربون… كانوا ببساطة يعيشون لكن ما ادهشني حقا هو الألوان فهذا أحمر يتدفق كأنه فستان ترديه فتاة ما تتحرك هنا و هناك و هاذان الأبيض و الأسود في رداء نادل يتحركان معه كمتلاكمان يدوران في الحلبة كلٌ يترقب الأخر و هذا الضوء الأزرق الذي يدخل متقطعا من النافذة كأنه رسالة ما لشخص ما أحسست بإني افقد عقلي الذي لم أسترده بعد خفت من الألوان و رفعت عيني عنها للحضور مرة اخري فكنت كمن يصحو من حلم ما، ولكن الألوان كانت تشغلني ،كيف يكون لها سحرها ، رجعت لها مرة بعد مرة و كل مرة كانت تتكون لوحة اخرة ضحكت من قلبي كطفل وجد لعبة جديدة و صرت أمارس التلذذ بقصص أخترعها للألوان، تلك الجامدة في مكانها في الأثاث و تلك التي تتحرك في ملابس الناس و لكني تذكرت إني اري الألوان و ليست الألوان هي التي ترينا نفسها، مجرد تصور ما لشئ ما مجرد زيف أخر ضحكت بقهر فها أنا إنتصرت علي سبب اخر للحياة بصقت علي الحانة و خرجت و حيدا بلاسجائر و لا قنينة إلي الشارع أبحث عن إنتصار أخر، إلي الشارع الذي صارالرمادي

محاولة فاشلة جدا جدا

أمر بحصار شديد العذابات
في صدري ضوء نهار
و في عيني غايات
مكتوبة بلغة منسية الحروف
مجهولة الكلمات
بيدي درع و سيف و ألف جواد
في صدري منجل و موسم حصاد
و لكن …. بروح بلا زاد
أتوه بالخنادق ……….مش زابطة
بإختصار تاااااااااااااااااااااااااااااايه

عقاربي الصغيرة

عقارب صغيرة تلك اللتي تصعد صدري تلدغ كيس القمل الذي ما زل يذكرني بتلك الشظايا عندما تكسر سيفي في معركة ما، أحاول أن أنفضها لهثا ولكن ما تلبث إلا أن تستعر جنونا، تكاد تغطيني وهي خارجة من بطني و كأنها مني و لا تلدغ سوي كيس القمل، تشتد إرادتي من ألمي و أنهض ببقايا سيفي و كأني أرفض أن تاكلني نفسي و أقول لابد من معركة أخيرة، أنظر إلي يدي المعروقة كيد صياد عجوز أكله البحر وبقايا سيفي التي بالكاد تكفي لإجتثات كيس القمل من صدي و لكني مصر علي معركتي ،أصرخ في عداتي هلم إلي فيرد صدي باكيا ضاحكا، ألتفت إلي همهمات خلفي، فإذا بي أراني و قد شاب شعري و كأني أنظر إلي بعد سنين ما ارتبكت و سألت أيني الأن؟ رد العجوز في هذايان ” في بطن البحر أكلك منذ سنين و لا تدري” رجع إلي هذايانه و رجعت أواجه عداتي سمعت حفيفهم و دبيبهم وضحكات ساخرة و لكن لم أسمع أنفاسهم هاجموني و كانوا كتلك العقارب فوق صدري ولكن أكبر حجما ذهلت و كأني أرهم لأول مرة و كأني لم احاربهم لسنين كانوا لايلدغون سوي كيس القمل و كنت أضربهم بجنون و كأني أهاجم سرابا فلا ادري متي و كيف تلاشت باقيا سيفي، رن صوت العجوز في عقلي قائلا “إسترح لهزمة غد” تهدج صوتي “ماذا أفعل بعقاربي الصغيرة” رد ” هي منك فلتأكلك” فصحت “لست منك و لا انت مني و إن هزمت أنت فما أدراك بقدري” تنهد و صمت وكأنها المرة الألف و بعد لدغة تلو لدغة عصتني رجلي و انهرت مستسلما للتراب ، تركوني عندها و كأن همهم ليس قتلي و لكن اللهو بي كقط يلهو بعشائه، صحت بهم “هزمتموني و لم تكسروني” رد علي دبيبهم هازئا مبتعدا و بمجرد إبتعادهم سمعت دبيبا أخرا يخرج من بطني و أنا أهذي ” لست صيادا عجوز اكله البحر” أفتقد حينها سيفي

Snap shots

Snap shots
1. A friend of mine and myself were discussing if humanity will pass this stage or not, I were saying that we are passing through a teenage era where civilization will be more decent and mature, he was saying that civilization is a bacteria culture, our existence is only based on needs satisfaction, we are not more than bacteria, although his words contain a some reason, I could not accept it, he said that I am bacteria with ego.

2. Few days ago I were walking late in the city centre, I saw an old lady sleeping on the street, I just passed and kept walking without taking a second look, until now I cant take her off my head, asking myself what was she dreaming of, was it a piece of bread or roof, was it love or security? Whatever it was I hope it was a nice as change in her daily program.

3. A friend of mine and myself were discussing which is more important to ask why or to ask how, after hours he convinced me that how is the important thing and when I stood up to leave, I asked him why do we ask how ?

4. What is beauty? I wonder!

Are we there yet?

“Are we there yet?” Do we remember this question we as children used to ask, at some point we used to hear “yes we are!!” but now on this spaceship called Earth I am not sure if such an answer is valid.
This amazing ship that we lived on since before time does not have a place to such a question, it even does not have a place of a more important question which is “is there “there”?” it is not possible because we have no one to ask such a question, here comes the most powerful and the most dangerous human feature it is IMAGINATION, we allow ourselves to imagine a purpose of this long trip in the cosmos, it is relief to have such a purpose whatever it is.
As for me I would say this purpose is harmony, but before I finish my words anther question slap me in the face it is “is it possible?” here I say I hope which leads as to another important human feature it is HOPE, I would say that all purpose believer can not believe without hope.
I believe in civilization I believe that someday we will be able to understand ourselves and to rewrite our human heritage, I believe that some day no human will be naked or hungry, I believe that someday blood will be taboo and medicine is free as the air, I believe that we will be able to drive our spaceship safely I believe and believe and believe. But as any believer my faith is based on imagination and hope, and until I find somebody to answer me if asking “are we there yet?” is valid or not, I will cry loudly we are not there yet!!!!

A colorful world

Once upon a time there were a world of colors, each color has his own country, an endless number of countries existed in that funny world, even in the same country there were level of the same colors, each country were so proud of their own color that, they all wanted to convince other people that their color is the most beautiful, this convincing take place from the beginning of the colors existence, some time it was peaceful but most of the time it was war. Some colors were lost from this world and new colors started to exist which is normal in such a restless world, funny people from this world called it the mixer which in it each color exist only if it can exist.

I remember once the red color fought against the blue color for years and the managed to change some of the blue country to red, after centuries the blue country started a war against the red not to return their land because they forgot it was theirs once but just to expand, just because they could start a war, what was ironic the sons of the blue people who are now red were the most aggressive in fighting back their cousins, the most bleeding wars are which take place between cousins, and that was just an instance of this colorful world history.

After centuries of war between all colors these colors came up with a very intelligent idea, it was simply let us all sit down and talk, they did but all of them were so proud of their own color they did not come out with any result, they sit again and again and again but they go to war every time they talk.

And then once some people from some countries sat together and decided that colorty is the problem of their world and came up with an original idea, they became colorless. That idea lived in there own minds for sometime ,then trying to convince other people from different colors to join them and with time they become another color forming a new country of their own, so another country joined the mixer, they thought they were unique to reject all other colors, but what was ironic they used the same principle all other colors used “reject all others” and this world kept going and going.

Then once the orange country were so powerful, so they decided the war of weapons is not enough, they understood that to break other colors they have to break their pride, and the war entered a new era, the orangies sat with other colors to convince them the only way out to a better world is to have only one color and since we can not delete each other let us mix with each other and create a one unified color, most of the color agreed some because of fear and others because of greed but none for the common interest of the colorful world, and those voices who said “creating a new color is not the solution, it is just canceling some colors for the favor of others we have enough colors already!!” with time were silenced since there were no other solution visible for the colorful world.

Few light years away of the colorful world there were two aliens talking one of them said “how sad to destroy your beauty” the other said “who does not know his qualities does not deserve to keep these qualities”. They were watched their screen which displays a very colorful world that look like a mixer.