Edward the Drunk
by سراج|Mafkoud
Pub
بتكون خالتك روز عالبار و بتمشيلك مشروب ببلاش، بيتي أنا جنب المحطة الأخيرة لأكثر من خط فبيكون البار مليان سواقين، خصوصا مع أيام نزول الرواتب و هناك تعرفت علي إدوارد، و إدوارد هاد في أوائل الأربعينيات و مقتنع أن الحل لأي مشكلة يمكن في البيرة و أخواتها و له في ذلك وجهة نظر ، كما له و جهات نظر كثيرة أخري
me : So Edward how would you define so called “Democracy”? if you have such one?
Edward:of course i do, what you take me for ??!! a SUCM!!
Me: very well then, Enlighten me wise one.
Edward: Indeed … Indeed
Edward: A very generic definition of Democracy – as my simple brain would understand it – would be something like this, Democracy is “people” governing themselves, “people” here can mean anything from Citizens of a country to group of guys putting together how they would get weed.
Edward: If we take this definition a bit further, then we can see that any person who would be affected – either positively or negatively- by a decision or a legalization should have a say in this process, which would justify counting the votes of drug dealers in the process of choosing the government that would kick their butt. After all it is their butt is to be kicked.
Edward: In the same rhythm, if people democratically think that drug dealers are national heroes, why national heroes!!!! let say FREEDOM FIGHTERS!!! against the oppression of the uptight modern society. Then their asses wont be kicked any more but statues will be made honour their asses, we even might find the statue of the UNKNOWN DEALER. With this funny tool we call Democracy. why to go far in Switzerland for a period of time “Democratically” the government itself was providing the GOOD STUFF as – I said Democratically, there was voting and all that stuff, and the people themselves chose to normalize Drugs.
ولك شو عمتشرب إنت
Edward: But although this might sound, I would say Fucking Awesome, that is not necessary the case.
me: how come Edward? i thought you like Democracy !!
Edward: indeed i do , but take for example the government in the last war
أنا الأول: ولك شو عمتسوي هون وراك شغل بكرا
أنا الثاني : هاد الإدوارد نهفة
أنا الأول: ولك إنت نخبوي عرص شو عشان سواق صار ما إلو حق إنو يحكي وجهة نظروا
أنا الثاني : و لك إنت اللي عرص شو حكينا …و بعدين اللي علي راسو بطحة يحسس عليها
أنا الأول : شو قصدك و لاا
أنا الثاني :إنت النخباوي و ستين نخبوي
أنا الأول: أنا نخبوي يا أخو ستين …
أنا : بس ولا إنت و ياه يلعن ربكم عا هالمسا بس نرجع عالبيت بتتخانقوا
أنا الأول: ليش دايما إنت في صفو
أنا: ما إنت بصراحة نكد و بعدين بنتحاسب بالبيت إدوارد جاي
كان إدوارد رجع من عند الحمامات في صورة مصغرة من جودزيلا
Edward: what was i saying
أنا الأول : هلئ صرنا مناح و بتحكي معنا
أنا : إن ما نطقت لطعمي بيضاتك للبسس
أنا الأول: طيب هدي شوي !! دمقرطية ،حشيش ،حكومة ،حرب
أنا: يلاا روح إنقلع
Edward: oh yes, as you must know millions stood against the war, but the government told them to fuck off. there is a problem in the system you see.
or even better all we have is one day Democracy.
Me: so Edward what you propose then?
Edward: i have no idea man, but what i know is the following: based on the simple definition of Democracy, i would expect that we will see counting for the Iraqi voters in the coming elections. HE HE HE HE HE HE …. after all their asses are the ones whom bombed HE HE HE HE HE HE….
i am going home!!
Edward: man if i offended you i am sorry ….
أنا الأول:حكيتلك خلينا نروح !!
أنا الثاني: جووود ستف يا بيه هيهيهيهي !!
أنا : إخرس إنت و ياه
It’s not fair to put half English and half Arabic: this makes me even more curious.
Bastard!!!
I Kill You!