Madness as a Daily concern

there must be some phobia of madness with a fancy scientific
name, a phobia which does not stress you when you are in a high place or when you have to deal with a spider, but instead it is a constant fear drives you directly to what you fear in the first place, drives you to total madness.

All the time you Must act as if you are a normal being, actually that what you would try with sweat to convince yourself before others with.

it is an every day scenario -i must say; wake up after a usual restless night, and as a prayer you talk to your self saying:

i am here i am in this cold room, i am alone but free and i am not in an institute, i am healthy person and i have no reason to not be.

then you would go out smiling in every direction to avoid suspicion.

on the surface you acting for people to believe your normality, and just under that you are fighting your demons your other others, you are a fire burning down itself, you might believe they have enjoyed your silly act and they might do, acting as an Art …. as an Art of Survival, and Survival out side an Institute is the only thing you manged so far.

the calmness in people’s eyes when they see you as they see a common stable thing has the effect of a smoothing Drug, it is after all your last peaceful corner.

a question comes up from time to time;

why exactly you are doing this, if you are crazy if your mind status is in question, then should not you finish this silly game should not you go where you belong. before doing something you would regret

as valid as this question is, you can not accept it, it is one of those demons calling for your distruction, keep him quite , ignore him and listen to another one, the one says what you want the morning one the one who says :

i am here i am in this cold room, i am alone but free and i
am not in an institute, i am healthy person and i have no reason to
not be.

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4 thoughts on “Madness as a Daily concern”

  1. you are damn right

    sometimes i keep my self busy enough so i don’t get the time to ask any question, or to give the chance to any morning thoughts that will turn my day also restless

    I am not sure if this is a survival skill, but it is working for me so far

    I loved ur idea about the ART of survival, we could all be trying to do this, but only few of us are real geniune artists, don’t u think?

  2. Hi Malak
    how you doing

    Genuine Artists?! … well i dunno, that what came out when it was written, i did not give this word much thought to be honest … but i can see what you mean, although saying that there are only few Genuine Artists in this big mental hospital is a bit over dramatizing, do not you think?


  3. خلينا نبعبر بالعربي احسن

    دخيلك, هو مزبوط مورستان و قايم يعني

    وع قولة فيروز بمسرحية لولو انو المطرح الوحيد اللي بيقدر الواحد يكون عنجد حر فيه هو العصفورية, الفكرة انو عنجد قلال الناس اللي قادرين يكونو حرين تماماً بالتعبير و عيش لحظاتهم, لحظة بلحظة, بدون حسابات كبيرة لأي شي غير سعادتهم و اكتفائهم الذاتي هني بهاللحظة, هيدول اللي قصدي انهم فنانين اصيلين بمهارة السيرفيفال

    كتار مننا ببساطة بيجربوا يتحاشو السوأل او الافكار اللي بتسبب الجنون كقاعدة يومية و ثابتة, هيدول مش فنانين برأيي, هيدول بس موجودين بهالمسرح, المورستان , الفيلم الكوميدي الاسود مرات, ومش عارفين يعملو كت

    نهارك سعيد,بلا اسئلة كبيرة , وبكثير ابتسامات حقيقية

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