“like drops of water, life as you know slips away. The first time I noticed was in the underground station few years back, since then I never went out unless I have to”
he said then he inhaled last of a cigarette i just gave him, for while he kept quite chasing some invisible beings or far away memories I do not know and I do not care.
then he said:
it is as if your shadow eats you up you, you become something like a splash of ink, dark ink.. a BLAK SPLASH of ink!! if you see what i mean? you do not die you are alive, sort of at least, but not as you would understand life .. people sometimes call it decaying.. I am telling you calling a state of mind .. of being after a chemical process is … is just out taste you see?
I had nothing to say, I have my own demons to escape from, and like him I would appreciate some moments of peace, so I gave him all the silence he needed. After a while he said “where you going off train”.
“Canary Wharf” I replied.
“Ha ..” a half laugh came out of him and then he said “that was two stops ago”
“i know” I left my chair and sat on the floor facing him and lit a cigarette for myself.
“Excuse me sir” the young women said with my cigarette in my mouth I turned my head facing her.
“smoking in the tube is illegal!!” I turn to him and said to her “do we look like we care?! Why wont you be a sweet little CUNT!! and mind your own business.. go be a chair or something”
she went off the next stop and only the two and a sleeping drunk were there.
Suddenly he said “why Canary Wharf mate?”
“well.. if you must know to jump off a building!!”
“ha .. which one?”
“the one I can get in to” I said smiling.
“so why the bag?”
“some details my Friend … some details!!”
“well you got to do what you got to do I guess, I simply prefer being a splash of ink than being a splash of blood”
“bfff …you got to do what you go to do mate!!”
then I looked to him, his eyes was closed and his head was moving as if he was listening to some music. I waited for a moment and then I said “ I think she called the police” he replied with another half laugh and then smoothly he said “yeah”
“i can not afford arresting, I have a building to jump off”
he looked at me and said “can you run kid?”
“i guess..” I replied.
“Well I will hold them for you as long as I can, you will have sometime to run out the station and then you are on you own”
I smiled, and remembered that the last time I ran was from the tear gas some lives ago.
He cut my memories alarming me of the officers, the train was stopping he said “it should be easy, there is only two of them, they must have mistaken us for Drunks” and then he laughed, loudly and clearly and it was a beautiful laugh.
I was eager to run, it was not the jump anymore but something else, something in all this seemed familiar, something like an old photo I used to have of my childhood house.
The train stopped I looked at him and the best I could came up with was “thanks Splash!!”
he smiled and said “you run good kid !! and good luck with your jump I guess”
Splash did a good job, and I did mine. I did it once again .. “run like the wind ..till your heart stops and if it does do not stop just fall” I told my self
I run out the station and suddenly the officers were shouting in a more familiar language, a language I thought I forgot, for a moment I was back in place, for a moment I was back home, I manged to get out of the station jumping over the barrier one leg in front of me and the other beneath me as if I am jumping over a burning tire, it was beautiful, everything made sense. I ran for as far as my legs could take me and when I found myself in that empty street, I laughed and cried till my knees could not hold my body anymore ..
I enjoyed Splash’s gift for few moments, and then I took the bus.
When I sat down I whispered to the window “thank you Splash you idiot!!” moist of my whisper on the window and the darkness of the night look like a splash of ink.
I was not going to Canary Wharf any more, I went to my flat.
When I closed my eyes that night I wished I would never open them again.